So I didn't initially want to divulge information about a third surgery I had in September (maybe I felt a little vain?), but it's part of my journey and I think it's important that it's included with my story. The surgery was "minor" compared to the other two I'd previously had, however I think it came in as 2nd on the pain scale. Dr. Heinrich (still an amazing surgeon) did a little bit of scar revision and fat grafting (gross, right?), where she sucked fat (not nearly enough in my opinion) from my stomach and hips and flushed it around my implants to give them a softer, more balanced look. I'm extremely pleased with the results, and am SO ready to be done with procedures! No more!
The oncologist I'd been meeting with since day 1 left the health system that my insurance covers, so I met with a new oncologist, Dr. Murphy. She specializes in young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer, and immediately I noticed a difference between the two. She brought up the family aspect (we'd wanted to start ours just before I was diagnosed) and offered to revisit starting one sooner than later (not yet though). I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet - going off tamoxifen is terrifying, especially if the goal is pregnancy which would give me an overload of hormones, but it was beyond nice to hear a doctor who actually looked at it from my perspective instead of immediately jumping into statistics.
Jason and I did the Making Strides walk again this year (in October) and I'm happy to say we raised just under $1,000 for the cause thanks to my family and friends. Feels great to be part of an event that is bigger than just my experience!
That's all (for now)!
Cassie
Showing posts with label Doing Good. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doing Good. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
One Year Later
And just like that, an entire year has passed. Today, one year ago (at approximately 2pm), I got the call no one ever wants to get. My breast cancer diagnosis was the switch that flipped my life completely upside down for 6 months, revealing in the process anxiety and pain, extreme love and support, and a sense of strength I never knew I had in me (cue eyes tearing up).
To mark this occasion (and the many 1st-year-anniversaries coming up), I've gone back to the very beginning of this blog to reflect. A quick recap of the first six months: I'd go from writing posts like this:
And now, the end.
I wrote the blog to remind the future me of all that I went through during the process of beating breast cancer. To remind myself (in case I don't glance at the scars, or have a dozen hot flashes each day) that it did in fact happen, and that I made it out alive. It's served as a place for me to jot down the feelings/fears I couldn't express out loud, a message board for my family and friends, and hopefully, as a source of inspiration for others who have heard the three dreaded words "you have cancer."
Now that my year with cancer is wrapping up (aside from occasional check-up appointments and taking tamoxifen, there's very little in my life that deals with it on a daily basis), I'm struggling to find content worthy of posting. I'm a boring person that went through something thousands of others go through; that doesn't make me interesting. Jotting down notes about what happens in my daily life isn't beneficial to anyone (and I think it comes across as a little narcissistic).
That being said, I also get a little stressed seeing "Post to blog" come up on my to-do list every couple of days. No one needs unnecessary stress, especially when life right now is so much fun. And especially when the remedy is so simple: to stop stressing about writing on this blog. I told myself at the beginning that I'd never let it get to this place where the content had nothing to do with breast cancer or my journey, and now that it's here, I think the only thing left to say is "goodbye."
I'm deleting the reminder on my phone (and finally, the alarms I created to remind me to take my different pain meds every 4, 6 and 8 hours - no clue why that took a year to do?!), and won't stress (at least, not about this) any more. If something at an appointment comes up, I may revisit just to jot it down, but no more of this bi-weekly "sorry I haven't written" nonsense.
Thank your for your continued support, your daily/weekly/monthly visits to this place where I've been spilling my guts for a year, and most of all, your love and friendship. I couldn't have made it through the experience without you!
Cass
To mark this occasion (and the many 1st-year-anniversaries coming up), I've gone back to the very beginning of this blog to reflect. A quick recap of the first six months: I'd go from writing posts like this:
"It’s a lot harder to be confident and strong and positive when you’re alone and it’s quiet and dark."...to starting the next one with "I'm feeling awesome!" Cancer's such a sucky, terrifying, no-seatbelts-and-upsidedown-loops roller coaster.
And now, the end.
I wrote the blog to remind the future me of all that I went through during the process of beating breast cancer. To remind myself (in case I don't glance at the scars, or have a dozen hot flashes each day) that it did in fact happen, and that I made it out alive. It's served as a place for me to jot down the feelings/fears I couldn't express out loud, a message board for my family and friends, and hopefully, as a source of inspiration for others who have heard the three dreaded words "you have cancer."
Now that my year with cancer is wrapping up (aside from occasional check-up appointments and taking tamoxifen, there's very little in my life that deals with it on a daily basis), I'm struggling to find content worthy of posting. I'm a boring person that went through something thousands of others go through; that doesn't make me interesting. Jotting down notes about what happens in my daily life isn't beneficial to anyone (and I think it comes across as a little narcissistic).
That being said, I also get a little stressed seeing "Post to blog" come up on my to-do list every couple of days. No one needs unnecessary stress, especially when life right now is so much fun. And especially when the remedy is so simple: to stop stressing about writing on this blog. I told myself at the beginning that I'd never let it get to this place where the content had nothing to do with breast cancer or my journey, and now that it's here, I think the only thing left to say is "goodbye."
I'm deleting the reminder on my phone (and finally, the alarms I created to remind me to take my different pain meds every 4, 6 and 8 hours - no clue why that took a year to do?!), and won't stress (at least, not about this) any more. If something at an appointment comes up, I may revisit just to jot it down, but no more of this bi-weekly "sorry I haven't written" nonsense.
Thank your for your continued support, your daily/weekly/monthly visits to this place where I've been spilling my guts for a year, and most of all, your love and friendship. I couldn't have made it through the experience without you!
Cass
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Scatter-Brain
Life has been crazy (such a cliche) so I apologize if this gets a little disorganized.
First: running. This week has been a disappointment, to say the least. Sunday/Monday I tried running outside (hey, if I'm running 3 miles outside on Sunday, I should probably test the waters first, right?) and both days I did terrible! I don't know if it's the lack of a tempo that I get with the treadmill, or the minor hills/bumpy sidewalks I encountered, but my butt was sufficiently kicked. I was so discouraged that I skipped the 5K I'd planned on running Tuesday with the Lifetime crew and struggled through 35 minutes on a sweaty treadmill. Yuck. I took a break last night and tonight I was back at it, however I forgot to throw a pair of socks in my gym bag last night, so I ran barefoot in my shoes for 20 minutes before giving up to a nasty blister that started forming. I could've gone longer, but I need my feet to be in good shape!
Second: I didn't get a chance to gush but I'm going to toot my own horn for a minute. Last weekend I (along with two friends, Emily and Jhanna) threw a co-ed baby shower for our friends Andrew & Joelle. It turned out magnificently! The decorations were adorable, the food and drinks were tasty, and the company couldn't have been better. Everyone who attended seemed to have a great time, so I'd call that a success!
Finally: We're trying our hands at gardening vegetables this summer! We're getting a late start (I saw cute little sprouts WEEKS ago already at a friend's house), and we're going small for this first attempt. We bought a small container and plan to enjoy an assortment of fresh peppers, tomatoes, tomatillos, basil, oregano, chives, cilantro and mint (if all goes according to plan). I'm all for sharing, so bring on the tips!
First: running. This week has been a disappointment, to say the least. Sunday/Monday I tried running outside (hey, if I'm running 3 miles outside on Sunday, I should probably test the waters first, right?) and both days I did terrible! I don't know if it's the lack of a tempo that I get with the treadmill, or the minor hills/bumpy sidewalks I encountered, but my butt was sufficiently kicked. I was so discouraged that I skipped the 5K I'd planned on running Tuesday with the Lifetime crew and struggled through 35 minutes on a sweaty treadmill. Yuck. I took a break last night and tonight I was back at it, however I forgot to throw a pair of socks in my gym bag last night, so I ran barefoot in my shoes for 20 minutes before giving up to a nasty blister that started forming. I could've gone longer, but I need my feet to be in good shape!
Second: I didn't get a chance to gush but I'm going to toot my own horn for a minute. Last weekend I (along with two friends, Emily and Jhanna) threw a co-ed baby shower for our friends Andrew & Joelle. It turned out magnificently! The decorations were adorable, the food and drinks were tasty, and the company couldn't have been better. Everyone who attended seemed to have a great time, so I'd call that a success!
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| Our hard work in action |
Finally: We're trying our hands at gardening vegetables this summer! We're getting a late start (I saw cute little sprouts WEEKS ago already at a friend's house), and we're going small for this first attempt. We bought a small container and plan to enjoy an assortment of fresh peppers, tomatoes, tomatillos, basil, oregano, chives, cilantro and mint (if all goes according to plan). I'm all for sharing, so bring on the tips!
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| Doesn't look like much now, but in 7-10 days we should see some sprouts! |
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
A Week By the Sea
Sorry for the lapse in writing; I have a good excuse - Jason and I have recently returned from a week-long trip to Mexico (Puerto Morelos to be exact)! We slept in, relaxed, read, drank margaritas and other exciting drinks, kayaked, soaked up sunshine, ate fish tacos, walked the beach, learned about the ancient Mayan culture, swam, and overall had an amazing time! We needed the break more than I'd expected!
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| Right to left, top to bottom: Our first drinks (at the airport - c'mon give us a break, it'd snowed 6" in MN while we were leaving that morning!), my first glimpse of the ocean, the first meat I'd eaten in over 2 months, a jellyfish shot. |
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| View from the pool and the beautiful beach in front of our resort. |
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| Ruins, and the most beautiful beach I've ever seen! |
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| Obsessed |
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| The sunrise on the day we left. I may have teared up a little (no judging). |
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Could it Be?
I think my back pain is a degree less intense today, maybe... it is early in the day and I haven't done much that would aggravate it, but just maybe. Or maybe it's the fact that we had temps in the 40s yesterday and I swear the sun is getting up earlier and earlier (finally!), maybe my brain has moved on to concentrating on bigger and better things? Maybe it's my cold finally releasing the grip it has held on my sinuses the last 7 days?
I don't care what it is, but it should keep happening - I was starting to forget what it feels like to feel somewhat healthy!
I don't care what it is, but it should keep happening - I was starting to forget what it feels like to feel somewhat healthy!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
A To-Do List?! Yes Please!
Found this little ditty and thought it was a wonderful reminder of how to focus more on the important things we encounter each day. My favorite part is the to-do list (Does that really surprise anyone? I'm a slave to the to-do list!):
"Follow this daily to-do list and you’ll be just fine:
I know you might be thinking, "yeah, yeah, I see this inspirational crap on Pinterest every day" but really, when it all boils down, it's great advice! Trying my best to follow (and repeat) the short list from now on.
"Follow this daily to-do list and you’ll be just fine:
- Think positively.
- Eat healthy.
- Exercise today.
- Worry less.
- Work hard.
- Laugh often.
- Sleep well.
I know you might be thinking, "yeah, yeah, I see this inspirational crap on Pinterest every day" but really, when it all boils down, it's great advice! Trying my best to follow (and repeat) the short list from now on.
Monday, January 27, 2014
One Step Closer...
...to being a full-fledged vegetarian. We had two "meat days" this weekend and totally stuffed ourselves with chicken, beef and pepperoni (my favorite). I felt fine for the most part, but after eating the delicious cheese-stuffed burger I almost instantly felt sick. Maybe it was too much grease (Jason and I split a side of onion rings too), but maybe it was my stomach saying "no thanks" to the beef? Who knows - we're back on a no-meat diet now until Sunday (which happens to be Superbowl Sunday), when we plan on saying au revoir to our favorite meat snacks. I'm feeling OK about it - like I've said to a few of my friends already, I don't really notice that we're not eating meat. I've also been getting oodles of recipes and advice from my vegetarian friends, so I think we'll be able to find yummy substitutes for our favorite foods that typically include meat.
...to eliminating night sweats. I attribute much of my success in this area to removing meat from my diet. I've been taking tamoxifen for almost six months now, and have had 4, maybe 5 nights of sleep where I didn't wake up once to a night sweat (In case you're wondering, night sweats are much worse than hot flashes; you wake up soaking, and even after changing in to dry jammies, you hop back into damp sheets. They're terribly unpleasant.). In the past week I've slept 4 or 5 nights all the way through. Do you know how wonderful it feels to have a full night of uninterrupted sleep?! Glorious - almost to the extent that I can hear angels sing as my alarm goes off each morning.
...to getting my sun-shiny, positive, cheerful self back. Yesterday I started taking a multivitamin that packs a Vitamin D punch. I'm confident it'll get my energy level back up and kick my Debby Downer attitude to the frozen curb. I'm also keeping up my gym habit; last week I signed up for a 5K in April and I'm determined to run the entire thing. It's 3.1 miles, I'm sure I can do it (plus, I have lots of time to work my way up)!
...to eliminating night sweats. I attribute much of my success in this area to removing meat from my diet. I've been taking tamoxifen for almost six months now, and have had 4, maybe 5 nights of sleep where I didn't wake up once to a night sweat (In case you're wondering, night sweats are much worse than hot flashes; you wake up soaking, and even after changing in to dry jammies, you hop back into damp sheets. They're terribly unpleasant.). In the past week I've slept 4 or 5 nights all the way through. Do you know how wonderful it feels to have a full night of uninterrupted sleep?! Glorious - almost to the extent that I can hear angels sing as my alarm goes off each morning.
...to getting my sun-shiny, positive, cheerful self back. Yesterday I started taking a multivitamin that packs a Vitamin D punch. I'm confident it'll get my energy level back up and kick my Debby Downer attitude to the frozen curb. I'm also keeping up my gym habit; last week I signed up for a 5K in April and I'm determined to run the entire thing. It's 3.1 miles, I'm sure I can do it (plus, I have lots of time to work my way up)!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Taking Care
I'm happy to report that our first attempt at cutting out meat was a success! We made some pretty tasty dishes Sunday through Wednesday this week and I hardly noticed that none of them included animal protein. I even ate out and was able to easily order some really delicious portobello mushroom fajitas. When we added meat back into our meals on Thursday (tacos), Jason was up with me during the night with a stomach ache (I was having one of my usual night sweats). I felt fine after eating meat Thurs/Fri, but after eating chicken tenders at our friend Andrew's birthday party on Saturday, I felt awful! I can't say if it was the chicken or the fact that they were fried, but it made me feel terrible (and happy to say buh-bye to them). Today we started day one of five days we're eating meatless so we'll see how this week goes!
In fitness-related news, I've been using the LT Bucks I earned for joining Lifetime Fitness over Black Friday to try out a few TEAM classes. For two weeks I was part of the TEAM Weightloss, and now I've moved on to TEAM Fitness. The fitness class is one level up in terms of difficulty, and instead of mostly cardio, we've been doing some serious weight lifting (my first attempt at kettle bells made me feel like an 80-year-old lady; I'm still nursing sore back muscles!). I like it, but my danceline background has me gravitating toward the cardio classes. I've also been back on the treadmill a few times slowly logging miles, and I'm pretty excited about how much I'm still looking forward to it. Yesterday my challenge was to do a 5K, which is something I've done many many times, but this time my goal was to run as much of it as possible and I don't think I did too bad. I wasn't really going for speed, but of course the faster you run, the faster you can be done. I finished nice and sweaty at 40:30, so with short stints of walking thrown in, I'm averaging a 13-minute mile. Certainly nothing to brag about, but it'll be interesting to see the improvement the more conditioned I get!
Finally, I had an appointment Thursday with Dr. Sanan, the surgeon who first discovered my cancerous lump. It's been about six months since I've seen him and ta daaaa - after examining me he determined there are no new lumps (not that I was expecting him to find any). Physically I've been feeling great and it's so great to have a confirmation from a professional. I also spent a little time with Lynnae, Carrie and Ali (the hospital's social worker) which was wonderful! They're all such great resources and care so much for their patients (me!). Ali's hooking me up with the oncology nutritionist to make sure I'm still getting enough nutrients now that we're modifying our diets. Once again I'm thanking my lucky stars I have them for my long term healing!
Natural remedies, here I come!
Finally, I had an appointment Thursday with Dr. Sanan, the surgeon who first discovered my cancerous lump. It's been about six months since I've seen him and ta daaaa - after examining me he determined there are no new lumps (not that I was expecting him to find any). Physically I've been feeling great and it's so great to have a confirmation from a professional. I also spent a little time with Lynnae, Carrie and Ali (the hospital's social worker) which was wonderful! They're all such great resources and care so much for their patients (me!). Ali's hooking me up with the oncology nutritionist to make sure I'm still getting enough nutrients now that we're modifying our diets. Once again I'm thanking my lucky stars I have them for my long term healing!
Natural remedies, here I come!
Monday, December 9, 2013
Terrific Lady Day
Tis the season for baking, shopping and being oh so busy! Sorry for the lack of updates. Quick rundown: last week I met with a group of ladies who had all been diagnosed at 40 or younger. Quite the difference from the group I've been meeting with through United. We had a great discussion and it was so nice to commiserate with ladies my age.
2013 has put my family through the ringer, so I've been thinking about how I plan to start fresh in a few weeks. Step two: lopping off and donating my hair (step one was joining a gym, which I'm loving so far!). You heard it here first - the mane is now a little bob :) I went into the cut feeling ready for it, keeping in mind how lucky I was to not go through chemo, unlike a lot of other women. I hope my hair can make a nice wig for one of those ladies!
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| Total donated: 8" :) |
I had a quick appointment with my plastic surgeon after my hair cut to check in on my new boobs. All is going well on the healing front - swelling is pretty much gone (we'll check in again in 6 weeks), and the incisions are looking great. She addressed the pain I'm having in my arm and thinks it should go away eventually. I'll just keep doing my stretches and hopefully it'll be soon!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Thankful
Tis the season to shop, eat, be with friends and family, but most of all: be thankful. I'm usually pretty aware of the things I have in my life that others may not. I was lucky enough to be born into a very loving family, in a country that, among its shortcomings, offers a relatively safe and comfortable place to live and be a young, working woman. I get to vote, choose who I marry (hey there, Jas), and at the end of the day, have the peace of mind that I don't have to worry about where my next glass of clean water is coming from, or how to cure my hunger pains. I live a pretty cushy life.
In the past I've completely taken my health and body for granted. After my scare with breast cancer, I have a whole new level of respect (and thanks) for my physical and mental health. I, unlike many other survivors, don't wake up every morning with my first thought being "I had cancer." Even when I'm flashing, I don't think "I'm hot because of the Tamoxifen, and I'm taking Tamoxifen because I had cancer." I don't think "cancer" when I stretch the muscles in my chest/arms or accidentally run into something because I don't have feeling in my boobs (it happens more than I'm happy to admit). When I do think about it, it still seems a little too crazy to comprehend. Like it was all a terrible dream, except I have the scars to prove that it wasn't (maybe I should seek therapy?!).
I'll never ever forget the fact that I had cancer, but I think it's time for me to move past it. I'm beyond happy to talk about my experiences if anyone asks; however, I feel that dedicating this blog to cancer is facing it in the wrong direction. I need to write about living life despite having cancer, to give others hope that they too can overcome the hurdles and come out the other side healthy, cancer-free, and yes, even thankful for the experience.
I plan to continue to update you fine folks of any support group meetings, doctor appointments, or general aches and pains I have (if I have to deal with it, you're going to know about it), but I'll also be writing about other things going on in my life. If that means I lose readers (all three of you), I want to thank you for sticking with me over the last five months. I hope I was able to raise the awareness you have about your personal breast health (health in general!), or encourage you to spread the word about early mammograms. It's never too early to detect and start treating breast cancer!
Many thanks; I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
Cassie
In the past I've completely taken my health and body for granted. After my scare with breast cancer, I have a whole new level of respect (and thanks) for my physical and mental health. I, unlike many other survivors, don't wake up every morning with my first thought being "I had cancer." Even when I'm flashing, I don't think "I'm hot because of the Tamoxifen, and I'm taking Tamoxifen because I had cancer." I don't think "cancer" when I stretch the muscles in my chest/arms or accidentally run into something because I don't have feeling in my boobs (it happens more than I'm happy to admit). When I do think about it, it still seems a little too crazy to comprehend. Like it was all a terrible dream, except I have the scars to prove that it wasn't (maybe I should seek therapy?!).
I'll never ever forget the fact that I had cancer, but I think it's time for me to move past it. I'm beyond happy to talk about my experiences if anyone asks; however, I feel that dedicating this blog to cancer is facing it in the wrong direction. I need to write about living life despite having cancer, to give others hope that they too can overcome the hurdles and come out the other side healthy, cancer-free, and yes, even thankful for the experience.
I plan to continue to update you fine folks of any support group meetings, doctor appointments, or general aches and pains I have (if I have to deal with it, you're going to know about it), but I'll also be writing about other things going on in my life. If that means I lose readers (all three of you), I want to thank you for sticking with me over the last five months. I hope I was able to raise the awareness you have about your personal breast health (health in general!), or encourage you to spread the word about early mammograms. It's never too early to detect and start treating breast cancer!
Many thanks; I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
Cassie
Friday, November 22, 2013
Better Things
Well it's been just over two weeks since I had my tissue expanders replaced and now it's time for me to really help people. A few months ago I was asked to be on a Breast Cancer Patient Advisory Counsel (PAC), and I said "yes" because in the beginning, my Care Coordinators Lynnae and Carrie (who I attribute much of my sanity during that time to) set me up with a girl in Boston, who had also been diagnosed at 28. She was finishing up her 5 years as I was starting mine, but it was beyond comforting to talk with someone who knew exactly how I was feeling (each woman who goes through breast cancer has their own, unique story, but I was able to relate to her better than the women I spoke with who were in their 50's and 60's when they were diagnosed). As soon as I hung up the phone with her, I knew I wanted to be that someone on the other line offering comfort. Being a part of this PAC is my way to improve the care that newly-diagnosed women are receiving.
My first meeting was last night, and it was kind of a "passing of the baton" meeting. Each year in the fall, a few new women join the PAC and the women who have already served their two years leave. We went over a summary of everything they accomplished over the past two years (The biggest and most important, in my opinion, was creating the Care Coordinator position. I cannot imagine not having Lynnae/Carrie to go to!) and I'm so excited to see what my group comes up with!
My first meeting was last night, and it was kind of a "passing of the baton" meeting. Each year in the fall, a few new women join the PAC and the women who have already served their two years leave. We went over a summary of everything they accomplished over the past two years (The biggest and most important, in my opinion, was creating the Care Coordinator position. I cannot imagine not having Lynnae/Carrie to go to!) and I'm so excited to see what my group comes up with!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Weekend Update
I had a post-op appointment on Thursday with Dr. Heinrich, who was pleased with how my healing is coming along. The swelling I saw just a few days after surgery is almost completely gone (as is the bruising), and the best part of all: I can sleep on my side again! After 4.5 months of sleeping on my back, I've finally made it through a few nights of not waking up at once or twice during my (when I'm lucky) 7 hours. Also, Jason can finally spoon me again! It's glorious :)
Dr. Heinrich also cleared me for physical activity so my sister Rachel and I took a lap around Lake Como to celebrate (I was allowed to walk before, but we were short on time).
Teaser for later in the week: Patient Advisory Committee
Dr. Heinrich also cleared me for physical activity so my sister Rachel and I took a lap around Lake Como to celebrate (I was allowed to walk before, but we were short on time).
Teaser for later in the week: Patient Advisory Committee
Saturday, August 31, 2013
It's my Birthday!
Usually I wouldn't have ended "It's my birthday" with an exclamation point, but I'm a changed woman. My outlook on aging has gone from "I'm going to celebrate 29 every year from now on" to "Bring it on age, I made it this far." I'm perfectly happy where I am, at the age I am, and instead of dreading a new number, I'm embracing another successful year under my belt.
I'm confident that 29 has good things in store. The biggest thing on my radar: I'll celebrate five incredible years with Jason in a few short months. Another thing I'm looking forward to: New Boobs Day! I'll have milestones to celebrate with family and friends, mini celebrations at our favorite restaurant, Kafe 421, and a whole lot of being thankful happening. A few goals:
Looking forward to what this new year has in store for me.
I'm confident that 29 has good things in store. The biggest thing on my radar: I'll celebrate five incredible years with Jason in a few short months. Another thing I'm looking forward to: New Boobs Day! I'll have milestones to celebrate with family and friends, mini celebrations at our favorite restaurant, Kafe 421, and a whole lot of being thankful happening. A few goals:
- Mega-clean our basement of all the cobwebs, dust and miscellaneous boxes that landed there when we moved in 3 years ago so we can maybe start finishing it
- Finish landscaping our back yard
- Push my idea of pajamas for women having mastectomies further; I've heard absolutely no feedback from the organizations I've reached out to, and that's not ok
- Secure our wireless network (small but something I've been meaning to do for a long time)
Looking forward to what this new year has in store for me.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
My Essay
Taking Dana's advice from the other night, I submitted a short essay to Fab-U-Wish. I was only able to write 150 words (super limiting the way I tend to ramble on sometimes) but I gave it my best shot:
"In the first few days at home after my bilateral mastectomy, there’s nothing I could do to get comfortable. My brain was fuzzy from pain meds, I had yucky drain tubes coming out of me and fresh wounds on a very sensitive part of my body. The only way I was remotely close to feeling comfortable was walking around topless (not great in front of visitors); that is, until I was gifted Victoria’s Secret Supersoft Short PJ Set.Hopefully it's a start!
I don’t need anything, so my wish is that every woman having a mastectomy could have a pair of her own. It’s a BIG wish and it’ll take some thought, collaboration and generosity. Ideally, we could somehow get VS to pair up with the Bright Pink, the American Cancer Society and/or Susan G. Komen to gift these to women before they leave the hospital. Comfort for all! #JustThinkAboutIt #Philanthropy #Survivors"
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Focus
My goal with this blog from the beginning was to share my story, hoping that it would help other women in their late 20's cope with situations, feelings and decisions we're not supposed to be coping with at this age. I feel like I've lost focus a little and I've not been keeping up with my writing as much as I had hoped to.
To start fresh after almost an entire week of not posting, I have an idea I want to put out there. An idea that I know could potentially help hundreds, maybe even thousands of young women going through what I've gone through over the last couple months. It's an idea that definitely needs more thought, and maybe even help from others (for sure from a few huge organizations). Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, tips, contact information, etc if you think you can help.
Cutting to the chase (you're probably thinking, good LORD this girl is dragging on); I received a pair of these Victoria's Secret pajamas as a gift from my lovely friends Julie & Josh and basically lived in them the first couple of weeks after my surgery. I loved them so much, I bought a pair for a family friend who had her own bilateral mastectomy a few weeks after mine. I raved about them to my sister and because of my recommendation, she bought a pair for a client of hers who also had a mastectomy (way too many women dealing with breast cancer for one paragraph, by the way). The pajamas are amazing, and I'm not just saying that as someone recovering from surgery; I'm sure any lady would be comfortable in them!
I've already written a raving review about these on the Victoria's Secret website (I don't see it, or any other product reviews on their website. I hope it wasn't just for their R&D team...), but I think it'd be awesome if we could somehow get Victoria's Secret to pair up with the American Cancer Society, or Susan G. Komen to get a pair of these into the hands of every woman having a mastectomy. I plan to mention the pajamas on social media, making sure to tag the above organizations, but I need to do more. What else can I do to make this idea a reality?
To start fresh after almost an entire week of not posting, I have an idea I want to put out there. An idea that I know could potentially help hundreds, maybe even thousands of young women going through what I've gone through over the last couple months. It's an idea that definitely needs more thought, and maybe even help from others (for sure from a few huge organizations). Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, tips, contact information, etc if you think you can help.
Cutting to the chase (you're probably thinking, good LORD this girl is dragging on); I received a pair of these Victoria's Secret pajamas as a gift from my lovely friends Julie & Josh and basically lived in them the first couple of weeks after my surgery. I loved them so much, I bought a pair for a family friend who had her own bilateral mastectomy a few weeks after mine. I raved about them to my sister and because of my recommendation, she bought a pair for a client of hers who also had a mastectomy (way too many women dealing with breast cancer for one paragraph, by the way). The pajamas are amazing, and I'm not just saying that as someone recovering from surgery; I'm sure any lady would be comfortable in them!
I've already written a raving review about these on the Victoria's Secret website (I don't see it, or any other product reviews on their website. I hope it wasn't just for their R&D team...), but I think it'd be awesome if we could somehow get Victoria's Secret to pair up with the American Cancer Society, or Susan G. Komen to get a pair of these into the hands of every woman having a mastectomy. I plan to mention the pajamas on social media, making sure to tag the above organizations, but I need to do more. What else can I do to make this idea a reality?
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Support, and Not in the Form of a Bra
I celebrated my four-week anniversary post-surgery by sharing my "close friends and family only" blog to Facebook in hopes that I could be a voice of encouragement to others who may be experiencing a similar situation. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, encouraging, and loving, and I'm so very grateful to everyone taking the time out of their lives to read and share my story. You are the people who add the fuel to my fire! I've heard from a few ladies that it has motivated them to schedule an appointment they have been putting off, and hearing that makes me confident that I did the right thing by sharing my experience. If even one person is able to catch something before it's a scary something, I'm doing my job! It's never too early to get tested, and I'm not just talking about breast cancer either. There's no room in life for hesitation when it comes to your health!
On a completely separate note, I just got home from having my second expansion. Like I mentioned after last week's painful experience with 50cc's, I only did 25cc's on each side this time. I have to say, they're coming along quite nicely! My preliminary assessment says that the right one is finally catching up to the left in terms of shape (it's been a little flatter) and my guess is that to any random, unknowing person, they wouldn't give me a second glance! They're feeling a little tight but we'll have to wait a few hours until the pain (if it's coming) will really kick in. That should be perfect since I have dinner plans with a few girlfriends at 7 (sarcasm font). I'll let you know how it turns out a little later!
On a completely separate note, I just got home from having my second expansion. Like I mentioned after last week's painful experience with 50cc's, I only did 25cc's on each side this time. I have to say, they're coming along quite nicely! My preliminary assessment says that the right one is finally catching up to the left in terms of shape (it's been a little flatter) and my guess is that to any random, unknowing person, they wouldn't give me a second glance! They're feeling a little tight but we'll have to wait a few hours until the pain (if it's coming) will really kick in. That should be perfect since I have dinner plans with a few girlfriends at 7 (sarcasm font). I'll let you know how it turns out a little later!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
More Tears
I know it's hard to imagine being so incredibly happy yesterday and then sad today, but it's true. It happens. Today Dr. Howe (my oncologist) called referring me to the U of M's Reproductive Medicine Center so I could set up a consultation with a fertility specialist before starting tamoxifen. The woman I spoke with gave me a general rundown of services, all of which are extremely expensive, and most of which are not covered under my health insurance plan.
I know it's way too early to be giving up on having kids, especially since there is still so much that we don't know - we have many options. It's just very cumbersome and scary and not at all the way I imagined making our little family of two into a family of three or four.
I'm still feeling VERY optimistic about everything else; it's crazy to think that it's been four weeks since my surgery on June 26 - absolutely nuts! I'm feeling better and better every day and couldn't have asked for a better recovery period!
I know it's way too early to be giving up on having kids, especially since there is still so much that we don't know - we have many options. It's just very cumbersome and scary and not at all the way I imagined making our little family of two into a family of three or four.
I'm still feeling VERY optimistic about everything else; it's crazy to think that it's been four weeks since my surgery on June 26 - absolutely nuts! I'm feeling better and better every day and couldn't have asked for a better recovery period!
Reproductive Medicine Center
Reproductive Medicine Center
Reproductive Medicine Center
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Third Time's a Charm?
I had the privilege of being drained for the third time today. Gross right? How is it possible that over three weeks of healing, I'm still producing enough liquid that it needs to be extracted from me? Thankfully, it was MUCH less today than it has been the other two times, so I think 1) the room my expanders took up is leaving less room for the liquid and 2) the compression bandage is working. I've certainly been drinking mine and Jason's share of water the past couple days so maybe that had something to do with it too?
Tonight I spoke with a lovely woman from Boston who had, 5-6 years ago, been in a very similar situation as mine. She was 28 at the time of her diagnosis, and although her surgery and (so far) treatments were different, she was able to offer me something no one else at this point has been able to offer: knowing exactly how I feel. No, she and her then-boyfriend (now husband) weren't trying for a baby like we were at the time of diagnosis, but she understands the fears of recurrence and having cancer constantly on the brain. It was SO nice talking with her; I'm sure by the end of our 40 minute conversation she was more than ready to hang up, but I'm looking to her as a resource of information so I can't get enough of it.
I hope that I can be that voice someday, helping another young woman in our situation.
Tonight I spoke with a lovely woman from Boston who had, 5-6 years ago, been in a very similar situation as mine. She was 28 at the time of her diagnosis, and although her surgery and (so far) treatments were different, she was able to offer me something no one else at this point has been able to offer: knowing exactly how I feel. No, she and her then-boyfriend (now husband) weren't trying for a baby like we were at the time of diagnosis, but she understands the fears of recurrence and having cancer constantly on the brain. It was SO nice talking with her; I'm sure by the end of our 40 minute conversation she was more than ready to hang up, but I'm looking to her as a resource of information so I can't get enough of it.
I hope that I can be that voice someday, helping another young woman in our situation.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Pins and Needles
Now that my awful drains are out and I'm showering a ton, I've noticed that I've started getting more and more feeling back in the incisions. I imagined that if I did get any feeling back, it'd be normal, skin and tissue feeling, or whatever I was feeling before surgery. I was WAY wrong; I've been getting these super intense minute-long episodes where it feels like I'm being poked with a needle straight through the nipple (if I had one). It's crazy and totally takes my breath away. Of course I've checked it out and it's called phantom pain. I'll have to figure out how to deal with it because man, I can't be going through that all the time!
We met with Dr. Sanan yesterday and I totally had a breakdown in the examination room. C'mon, you can't ask a gal in my position "how have you been feeling" after the last three weeks I've had. I blame PMS.
We met with Dr. Sanan yesterday and I totally had a breakdown in the examination room. C'mon, you can't ask a gal in my position "how have you been feeling" after the last three weeks I've had. I blame PMS.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Chin Up
Nothing
like a couple IPAs to make you feel okay with having cancer. It's been
one week to the day that I heard the dreaded diagnosis. Looking back on
a week that could've been three years long, I already see how far I've
come in terms of dealing with it. I don't feel like I have cancer; I
don't feel sick and I don't think I look sick. When I picture a cancer
patient, I see the bald, sunken eyes chemo effect. I'm just as much
alive today as I was a week ago. Maybe more? I've realized a couple
things in these short seven days:
I met with a second plastic surgeon yesterday and she completely eased the
anxiety I was feeling about the end result. She measured me and
we discussed my fears and goals; she actually cares what I look like at
the end of all of this, and that's exactly the person I need on my
team. Her results photos looked absolutely beautiful; feminine, as
natural as you can expect for a reconstruction, and sized
appropriately. I'm not going all Dolly Pardon over here (I'm 5' 4", I'd
topple over!).- Never underestimate the power of support from friends and family
- Time doesn't matter when you're talking about a life/death situation all day (I'm far FAR from death by the way)
- Love from my Jason is all I'll need to get me through this next week/month/year/lifetime
- Telling people you have cancer doesn't ever get easy
Now that I've agreed to have her do the procedure we were able to set a surgery date: Wednesday June 26th. Day one of my cancer-free life.
Today I had my pre-op appointment; I met a doctor who checked my blood pressure (good), my heartbeat, ears, nose, breathing, etc. Basically an overall checkup to tell the surgeons that I'm fine for my appointment on Wednesday. I had a bit of blood drawn and that was it!
Right after my appointment, Jason and I met with Dan, the pastor who married us almost five years ago. He reminded us that things will get better and that we're right to be confident about my prognosis. He also said that I'm a force (yeah I am) and that I should use this experience in a positive way, whether it be learning more about myself or helping others.
I've been tossing around the idea of making this blog public, and after Dan's encouragement I feel like I should. There aren't many women my age who have to go through breast cancer and if I can answer questions or give encouragement, I feel like my experience with this will have a little more purpose. Not sure when I'll work up the courage to put myself so out there online, but it'll happen.
I don't think that I was given the cancer card because I did something wrong or I was a bad person. I think I was given this situation to grow and learn from, and I hope that I'll be able to do that in a way that will shape who I am in the future. For now, keeping my chin up.
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