Thankful

Tis the season to shop, eat, be with friends and family, but most of all: be thankful.  I'm usually pretty aware of the things I have in my life that others may not.  I was lucky enough to be born into a very loving family, in a country that, among its shortcomings, offers a relatively safe and comfortable place to live and be a young, working woman.  I get to vote, choose who I marry (hey there, Jas), and at the end of the day, have the peace of mind that I don't have to worry about where my next glass of clean water is coming from, or how to cure my hunger pains. I live a pretty cushy life.

In the past I've completely taken my health and body for granted.  After my scare with breast cancer, I have a whole new level of respect (and thanks) for my physical and mental health.  I, unlike many other survivors, don't wake up every morning with my first thought being "I had cancer." Even when I'm flashing, I don't think "I'm hot because of the Tamoxifen, and I'm taking Tamoxifen because I had cancer." I don't think "cancer" when I stretch the muscles in my chest/arms or accidentally run into something because I don't have feeling in my boobs (it happens more than I'm happy to admit).  When I do think about it, it still seems a little too crazy to comprehend.  Like it was all a terrible dream, except I have the scars to prove that it wasn't (maybe I should seek therapy?!).

I'll never ever forget the fact that I had cancer, but I think it's time for me to move past it.  I'm beyond happy to talk about my experiences if anyone asks; however, I feel that dedicating this blog to cancer is facing it in the wrong direction.  I need to write about living life despite having cancer, to give others hope that they too can overcome the hurdles and come out the other side healthy, cancer-free, and yes, even thankful for the experience. 

I plan to continue to update you fine folks of any support group meetings, doctor appointments, or general aches and pains I have (if I have to deal with it, you're going to know about it), but I'll also be writing about other things going on in my life.  If that means I lose readers (all three of you), I want to thank you for sticking with me over the last five months.  I hope I was able to raise the awareness you have about your personal breast health (health in general!), or encourage you to spread the word about early mammograms.  It's never too early to detect and start treating breast cancer! 

Many thanks; I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
Cassie

It's October!

I have to start out by saying how awesome my family, friends and coworkers are!  In less than a week we've blown past my initial fundraising goal of $250 and are sitting at $495 with 11 days to go!!  That's $5 short of half of the team goal of $1,000 I set! Your generosity is fantastic - keep spreading the word!

I attended my second breast cancer support group this afternoon, and I have to admit it was kind of a downer compared to the nutrition/fitness conversation we had last month.  Some of the ladies are having a really tough time and it makes me thankful that I have the love of so many people to help me get through everything. 

One thing that stuck with me (maybe it's because I'm new to being part of the breast cancer club) was that one of the group members said she has a hard time every October during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Everyone is so focused on it and somehow everything turns pink, and she has a hard time with the constant reminder of her experience.  I guess I never looked at it that way, but I get her point of view.  I feel like it's a month for people to be more active for the cause, donate a little and maybe reach out and help someone who may be battling the disease. 

As I left the meeting, I noticed I had a message from Ashley (my gene counselor) at the Breast Center.  (I was in the Breast Cancer suite when she called me - wish I would've bumped into her!)  She left a message saying she has "good news" and that I should call her when I can.  It was already after hours so I'll call her back tomorrow, but I'm trying to decide what her good news is.  Here's how I see it:

1. I have a mutated BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene that caused me to have breast cancer.  In this scenario, I can have my mom and/or dad get tested and from there, alert my other family members.  I can also, after having kids, choose to have a hysterectomy and/or oopherectomy, which would eliminate my risk of ovarian cancer.  Get rid of it!
2. I don't have the mutation, and we have no idea why I got breast cancer.

Not sure which of the two scenarios I'd prefer!  I guess there are positives and negatives of both, but I wouldn't necessarily call either good!  Cancer is cancer.

New Boobs Day Countdown: 36 days!

Support Group

Yesterday afternoon I met with the breast cancer support group that Lynnae and Carrie (my two angels from the pre-surgery days) host once a month.  The topic was nutrition, and so fitting too because I've been doing some pretty hefty research on combating hot flashes.  I was, as expected, the youngest in the group of a dozen women, and we had a great conversation about soy, ground flax seed, and a plant-based diet.  I'm pumped to try a few things and see how they affect the side effects!

Tomorrow I have one more (I won't say last this time, I might change my mind again) expansion.  I know, I know, I thought I was going to be done too. I'm liking the size I'm at right now and Dr. Heinrich wants me to over-expand so she has room to work with.  My lovely sister Rachel is chauffeuring me to my appointment and I'm excited for her to meet the wonderful staff at the clinic I go to.

Total side note: I'm super sore from 1) dancing my booty off at the wedding over the weekend and 2) playing kickball last night.  Not as ready to jump into activity as I thought :(

More later this week - this gal is exhausted!