Run Run Run

Well I'm officially cancer-free... again, says Dr. Howe. I completely believe him, but that doesn't solve my pain problem! I'm listening to the advice from many people I love and taking a week off from running. Just one week. It's going to drive me nuts, and I might sneak in to do some time on a stationary bike, but no one has to know. I have another quick massage tomorrow after work; hopefully Maggie will tell me things feel looser/less inflamed (they don't to me).

I just signed up for our annual Race for the Cure team. I've participated (as a walker/runner) for the past 4-5 years, always just to support the cause and raise money for a disease I wanted gone. This year, I'm running (no walking) and I'm running for me. I'm going to run this year to show cancer that it can take away my boobs (and in the process, replacing them with much perkier ones) but it can't keep me down. Race for the Cure is my third official 5k I've committed to this spring, and I fully intend to run (and maybe even enjoy running) all of them. I have some running to do, and this back pain better get outta town so I can do it. Pronto!

Weekend Update

Ahhh March, you've arrived to mixed emotions. I'm thrilled that we're getting closer and closer to spring, yet this ruthless winter is proving it still has tricks up it's sleeves. The latest: parking restrictions in St. Paul and Minneapolis. Before we bought our house, we lived in a tiny little shoebox of an apartment in Uptown and I remember dealing with parking restrictions then, but it's been four years and we've grown pretty accustomed to parking right outside our house. Not anymore, at least, not until the ban is lifted (I've heard April 1?).

In back injury news, I had an MRI earlier this afternoon and expect the radiologist's summary to arrive to Dr. Howe by EOD Monday. Hopefully it'll be earlier than that and hopefully he'll call me right away when it arrives. I keep getting asked if I'm feeling better and I don't know what to say. Yes? The fact that I have to question it though, makes me feel like the answer should be a no. I'll have stints, where I'll get super involved in work or an episode of Breaking Bad, and forget about the pain, and then the moment I stand up and start moving around again, it hurts. I've run three times since Monday, and although it's excruciating, I can't help but wonder if it's maybe, just maybe, helping a little bit? Then I wonder if it's all in my head? All I know is that I've been having this pain for five weeks now, and I'm more than ready for it to be better!

I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I hit my goal of having my design website online by the end of February! You can be among the first to check it out at www.schobercreative.com, and feel free to pass it on to your friends/family! The portfolio tab is kind of a jumbled mess right now but I'll eventually get around to organizing it a little better. Baby steps :)

Anyway, enjoy!

I'm OK!

I totally meant to update immediately after my appointment on Friday, but the Schober's were in town and you know how it is when they're here - we stay busy nonstop! Anyway, the appointment with Dr. Howe went really well - he's not concerned that my pain is related to cancer at all. We talked about the side effects I've been having fromTamoxifen (all normal) and reviewed the blood work we took right before my appointment (hemoglobin levels are on the rise = very good). He didn't want to rush into an MRI and asked that I wait it out until the 24th before scheduling an appointment. After yesterday's chiropractor appointment, I'm not sure I'll be able to wait that long though. It feels like my muscles are in a super squeeze and are throbbing - basically a constant charley horse. I'm going to wait until Thursday and if things aren't improving, I'll try to get in.

I'm anxious for this pain to go away so I can get back to my gym routine - I'm going nuts not doing anything! I'll keep you updated!

Ouch

Thought I was finished with pain (and complaining about it) didn't you? Nope! A few weeks ago, in my quest to prove to myself that I'm physically back to normal, I did a boot camp class, followed by a TRX personal training session a few days later.

An example of one of the TRX exercises I did, except unlike the lady in the picture,
I was sweating like a beast, grunting, and making faces that would frighten children.

Since both were new to my body, I was understandably sore after each session. Once a few days had gone by, most of my aches had subsided, except for an area in my upper back, on the right side. I let it be for a few weeks, begging Jason for back rubs on a daily basis. Finally I decided to see a chiropractor, Dr. Kristin Schaffer. She's been doing some muscle stimulation and adjusting me every-other day for about a week and a half, and Monday she dropped a bomb on me. Because she's aware of my medical history, she brought up the fact that it was possible (but very unlikely) that my breast cancer metastasized to my ribs. I've heard worse news so I didn't immediately panic; we did an x-ray and sent it off to a radiologist for review.

My motto is that if you catch things early, they can be treated, so of course I made an appointment with Dr. Howe (my oncologist) as soon as I was able to on Tuesday morning. Yesterday afternoon I heard back from the radiologist who said they didn't see anything that they'd be concerned about, but c'mon. With everything I've gone through over the last 8 months, I don't think I'd be able to let this go until I get the green light from Dr. Howe. There has to be some reason for the pain I'm having (I'm rating it one step below expansions, to give you an idea of severity), and until we figure it out, we won't know how to make it go away.

I was a little on edge Monday evening (as you can imagine), but have since calmed a bit - I'm 90% sure I pushed myself too hard at the gym and as a result, gave myself an injury. We'll see what Dr. Howe says at my appointment Friday; until then, it's a nice rotation of heat and ice...

Flashing

I know I've written about this before and it probably sounds like I'm complaining, but keeping in mind the fact that I'm hoping to help others, I'm writing this for more for educational purposes (I just love how I justify my complaining ha!).

I think the tamoxifen has finally kicked into high gear; the hot flashes have gotten a bit better (or is it the major drop in temperatures we've had the past week?) and my periods have been further spread out than usual.  I'm so happy the flashes have gotten better on their own; my oncologist had suggested I try an anti-depressant to keep them under control, and I politely declined. Not the right option for me - I'm not a fan of covering up side effects with another drug that could give me more/worse side effects. I still have them, just not as frequently and they're not as intense.

It's a good thing too, because when they're bad, all I can do to keep my sanity is stop what I'm doing, roll up my sleeves and pants, take off my shoes, and fan myself with something.  I'm sure my co-workers think I'm nuts, but it makes them tolerable.  Once the flash is over, I get a sweet case of the chills from my body trying to balance out the change in temperature.

I should be assigned my own weatherman, sheesh! Mantra: having flashes is better than having cancer. Repeat 400 times.

NBD: 14 days away!

Go Mode

After having my final, yes final, expansion on Thursday last week, I met with Dr. Howe on Friday morning to discuss how the tamoxifen is going.  I'm having the very typical side effects: hot flashes and night sweats (hot) so nothing to be too concerned about.  He was so impressed with my blood work that he told me I could officially tell people that I'm cancer free.  Did you hear that!?  Cancer FREE!  Gone, zip!  Of course as I was finally finishing my last thank you notes yesterday, (writing it in every single one) I couldn't help but wonder if I'm totally jinxing myself by celebrating and blabbing to everyone about it.  On the other hand, I think I deserve the bragging rights - it's the best news I've had all summer!

Bringing me to my next topic: my energy level.  I don't know if it was the great news on Friday or the fact that I got some heavy duty relaxing in this weekend, but I've been like the energizer bunny lately!  I've been working out and kicking butt on annoying little house projects I've been putting off.  I've even been able to squeeze an episode of Orange is the New Black once a night (one more episode left... dreading the end of that hour, Season 2 needs to be available pronto!).

Loving and living life; only 58 days until New Boobs Day :) We finally broke the two-month barrier people!!

More Tears

I know it's hard to imagine being so incredibly happy yesterday and then sad today, but it's true.  It happens.  Today Dr. Howe (my oncologist) called referring me to the U of M's Reproductive Medicine Center so I could set up a consultation with a fertility specialist before starting tamoxifen.  The woman I spoke with gave me a general rundown of services, all of which are extremely expensive, and most of which are not covered under my health insurance plan.

I know it's way too early to be giving up on having kids, especially since there is still so much that we don't know - we have many options.  It's just very cumbersome and scary and not at all the way I imagined making our little family of two into a family of three or four.

I'm still feeling VERY optimistic about everything else; it's crazy to think that it's been four weeks since my surgery on June 26 - absolutely nuts!  I'm feeling better and better every day and couldn't have asked for a better recovery period!

Reproductive Medicine Center

Reproductive Medicine Center

Reproductive Medicine Center

Tears

Of JOY!  Psych, I bet you thought after reading the title that something bad had happened.  Nope, not this time!  We just got home from my appointment with Dr. Howe and he gave us the very happy news that I won't need chemo or radiation!

He confirmed that I will have to be on tamoxifen for the next five years, meaning that the hormones in my body will be blocked by the meds, giving me menopause-like symptoms (and not very good for growing a baby). Dr. Howe is having a team member of his refer us to a couple fertility doctors, so we'll definitely be having a baby discussion before I start taking anything.

Hip hip HOORAY!