So I didn't initially want to divulge information about a third surgery I had in September (maybe I felt a little vain?), but it's part of my journey and I think it's important that it's included with my story. The surgery was "minor" compared to the other two I'd previously had, however I think it came in as 2nd on the pain scale. Dr. Heinrich (still an amazing surgeon) did a little bit of scar revision and fat grafting (gross, right?), where she sucked fat (not nearly enough in my opinion) from my stomach and hips and flushed it around my implants to give them a softer, more balanced look. I'm extremely pleased with the results, and am SO ready to be done with procedures! No more!
The oncologist I'd been meeting with since day 1 left the health system that my insurance covers, so I met with a new oncologist, Dr. Murphy. She specializes in young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer, and immediately I noticed a difference between the two. She brought up the family aspect (we'd wanted to start ours just before I was diagnosed) and offered to revisit starting one sooner than later (not yet though). I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet - going off tamoxifen is terrifying, especially if the goal is pregnancy which would give me an overload of hormones, but it was beyond nice to hear a doctor who actually looked at it from my perspective instead of immediately jumping into statistics.
Jason and I did the Making Strides walk again this year (in October) and I'm happy to say we raised just under $1,000 for the cause thanks to my family and friends. Feels great to be part of an event that is bigger than just my experience!
That's all (for now)!
Cassie
Showing posts with label Breast Reconstruction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breast Reconstruction. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Monday, November 11, 2013
Dramatic
As expected, the swelling has minimized significantly and the fears and disappointment I was feeling just a few days ago was all way over dramatic. I'm still not looking the way I'd imagined but it's crazy how far along things can come in just a few days.
The pain is more of just an irritation now, although bending over hurts (thanks gravity) and I'm still not supposed to lift anything over 10lbs or raise my hands over my head (making showering and getting dressed super fun). I'm at home again today so I'm going to see how things go just taking a few ibuprofen. The major pain meds put me into a fog and there's no way I'd be able to operate at work tomorrow while on them.
Aside from the "pain," I've been feeling kind of itchy, and not where the incisions are either. Just the skin, kind of where a tank top would hit. I thought maybe the skin was stretching but that doesn't make sense either - that's what the expanders were doing. I'm sure the nerves were irritated while Dr. Heinrich was in there swapping things and that's why I'm getting that sensation. I have to ask her about it at my post op on Thursday.
That's all for now folks, time for a nap :)
The pain is more of just an irritation now, although bending over hurts (thanks gravity) and I'm still not supposed to lift anything over 10lbs or raise my hands over my head (making showering and getting dressed super fun). I'm at home again today so I'm going to see how things go just taking a few ibuprofen. The major pain meds put me into a fog and there's no way I'd be able to operate at work tomorrow while on them.
Aside from the "pain," I've been feeling kind of itchy, and not where the incisions are either. Just the skin, kind of where a tank top would hit. I thought maybe the skin was stretching but that doesn't make sense either - that's what the expanders were doing. I'm sure the nerves were irritated while Dr. Heinrich was in there swapping things and that's why I'm getting that sensation. I have to ask her about it at my post op on Thursday.
That's all for now folks, time for a nap :)
Friday, November 8, 2013
Post-Op
I made it through; surgery Wednesday morning went fine (although we started an hour late; drivers in MN always forget how to drive on the day of the first snow, and Dr. Heinrich was stuck behind a few accidents on her way in). I woke up after the surgery super fast, ate a few graham crackers and I was on my way home. Jason got me set up in bed and I happily slept my way through the afternoon/early evening. My sister Rachel stopped by later in the evening and we chatted for awhile, and I was back to bed around 10:00.
With all of the excitement over the past days, weeks, months leading up to Wednesday, I'd neglected to really imagine what these first couple days with my new boobs would be like. I'd envisioned beautiful, perky new boobs that look great no matter what I'm wearing. When I finally got the "go" to remove the dressing yesterday, I had quite the reality check: they're swollen, still marked-up from the morning of the surgery (even after taking a shower), and are looking a little lumpy. They're much softer than the tissue expanders, but I almost prefer how they looked Tuesday to what they look like now :(
I'm trying really really hard to remind myself that the swelling is expected to last a few weeks; that somehow, under the "mess" I'm seeing, there's a very nice set of reconstructed breasts. I'm on the same meds as I was on for surgery #1, which means about 30-45 minutes of awake time to 3-4 hours of sleeping. I'm not sleeping through the night, and not because of the pain, but because I think my body is just done being rested.
I had a lovely parade of visitors yesterday and I felt great (although drugged) to be in their company again, but now today I'm feeling emotional; sad that things aren't looking the way I'd imagined. I don't want to do another surgery, but then I don't want to look like this for the rest of my life either. Keeping ice packs near me non-stop; I'm determined to minimize this swelling sooner than later.
With all of the excitement over the past days, weeks, months leading up to Wednesday, I'd neglected to really imagine what these first couple days with my new boobs would be like. I'd envisioned beautiful, perky new boobs that look great no matter what I'm wearing. When I finally got the "go" to remove the dressing yesterday, I had quite the reality check: they're swollen, still marked-up from the morning of the surgery (even after taking a shower), and are looking a little lumpy. They're much softer than the tissue expanders, but I almost prefer how they looked Tuesday to what they look like now :(
I'm trying really really hard to remind myself that the swelling is expected to last a few weeks; that somehow, under the "mess" I'm seeing, there's a very nice set of reconstructed breasts. I'm on the same meds as I was on for surgery #1, which means about 30-45 minutes of awake time to 3-4 hours of sleeping. I'm not sleeping through the night, and not because of the pain, but because I think my body is just done being rested.
I had a lovely parade of visitors yesterday and I felt great (although drugged) to be in their company again, but now today I'm feeling emotional; sad that things aren't looking the way I'd imagined. I don't want to do another surgery, but then I don't want to look like this for the rest of my life either. Keeping ice packs near me non-stop; I'm determined to minimize this swelling sooner than later.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
New Boobs Day
It's like waking up on Christmas morning (literally, it even snowed last night) - excitement has now beat out nerves in a 97% to 3% landslide. 1-2-3-GO!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
November 5
It's the night before my second (and hopefully last) surgery; a day I've been looking forward to since I heard the dreaded "you have cancer" diagnosis from my surgeon. I'm finally here at the finish line; tomorrow's surgery is the last big step in getting rid of the cancer and getting me back to "normal." From here on out (God willing), the only thought of this experience will be the tiny little white pill (tamoxifen) I take each night before bed.
I went back and read some of my early blog posts and I'm so happy that I decided to write all of this down. Somehow I'd forgotten things, major things, that were a necessary part of the process (i.e. the dread I felt when telling my family and friends the diagnosis; the crazy sensation of drain tubes being removed, etc.). There's good and bad there - I don't want to forget all that I've been through because it reminds me of how strong I am, but I think time is softening the details a little (maybe a coping mechanism?). I have to say though - the time leading up to surgery #1 was way scarier than the time leading up to surgery #2. I'm not twitching right now, and I'm 91% calm and collected (the list of things to stress-clean tonight is much shorter than last time ha).
I've come a very long way and have been through hell. I hate that I know so much about the disease, that being pricked with needles has become routine, and that I'm part of a "club" I never wanted to join. I'm ready to not be terrified when wondering if the cancer will come back (something that might take years to get over); to not wake up in pain because I'd accidentally rolled onto my side in my sleep; to feel confident in my clothes again. I am so ready.
Cancer, you've been a very unwelcome shadow in my life for too long. You've ruined the plans I had for starting a family (right now, anyway), you've given me physical and emotional scars that will never go away and you've been a major contributor to an already terrible year. You've shown me paralyzing fear in the "ignorance is bliss" life I'd been living. Any tears I might cry will be out of joy at your absence; please never return.
I went back and read some of my early blog posts and I'm so happy that I decided to write all of this down. Somehow I'd forgotten things, major things, that were a necessary part of the process (i.e. the dread I felt when telling my family and friends the diagnosis; the crazy sensation of drain tubes being removed, etc.). There's good and bad there - I don't want to forget all that I've been through because it reminds me of how strong I am, but I think time is softening the details a little (maybe a coping mechanism?). I have to say though - the time leading up to surgery #1 was way scarier than the time leading up to surgery #2. I'm not twitching right now, and I'm 91% calm and collected (the list of things to stress-clean tonight is much shorter than last time ha).
I've come a very long way and have been through hell. I hate that I know so much about the disease, that being pricked with needles has become routine, and that I'm part of a "club" I never wanted to join. I'm ready to not be terrified when wondering if the cancer will come back (something that might take years to get over); to not wake up in pain because I'd accidentally rolled onto my side in my sleep; to feel confident in my clothes again. I am so ready.
Cancer, you've been a very unwelcome shadow in my life for too long. You've ruined the plans I had for starting a family (right now, anyway), you've given me physical and emotional scars that will never go away and you've been a major contributor to an already terrible year. You've shown me paralyzing fear in the "ignorance is bliss" life I'd been living. Any tears I might cry will be out of joy at your absence; please never return.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
"Breast Reconstruction" vs. "Boob Job"
This article is so perfectly written and so well-timed, I couldn't resist sharing. FYI, I'm guilty of calling it a "free breast cancer boob job" too; it's the only part of having cancer that doesn't make me feel like I'm drowning.
I'm OK with my feelings of excitement toward it (even if there's a tiny bit of nervousness there too).
I'm OK with my feelings of excitement toward it (even if there's a tiny bit of nervousness there too).
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Wednesday
By this time next week, I'll be resting comfortably on my living room couch with my new boobs (and Jason!) to keep me company. ONE WEEK! I can finally answer "When's your surgery again?" with "Wednesday" and people won't ask for the actual date. I've been counting down for some time (sorry), and today got the following reminder on my phone:
Total side note: friends/family who are nurses, this is for you. I had a second pre-op appointment on Monday to basically make sure I was alive before the doctor could sign off that I was good to go on surgery (my hemoglobin, kidney function and potassium levels are all normal). The doctor came in (not my regular), sat down and started going through my information: current medications, past surgeries etc. Here's a rundown of the conversation:
Dr.: "What surgery are you having next week?"
Cassie: "Breast reconstruction."
Dr.: (pause) "Why are you having breast reconstruction?"
Cassie: "Because I had a bilateral mastectomy in June."
Dr.: "Why did you have the bilateral mastectomy?"
Cassie: "I was diagnosed with breast cancer."
Now, I'm not saying (at all) that it's the doctor's fault for asking these questions (although I wonder if she saw how old I was and thought maybe I was getting new boobs for fun?). I'm curious though, why none of that medical history, pretty major stuff, wasn't on my chart? Especially since I'd had the pre-op for the mastectomy at this same clinic? They know I had once been taking pre-natal vitamins, but they skip adding cancer to the list? C'mon!
 |
| My "event" is just a week away (as if I'd need the reminder, ha)! |
Dr.: "What surgery are you having next week?"
Cassie: "Breast reconstruction."
Dr.: (pause) "Why are you having breast reconstruction?"
Cassie: "Because I had a bilateral mastectomy in June."
Dr.: "Why did you have the bilateral mastectomy?"
Cassie: "I was diagnosed with breast cancer."
Now, I'm not saying (at all) that it's the doctor's fault for asking these questions (although I wonder if she saw how old I was and thought maybe I was getting new boobs for fun?). I'm curious though, why none of that medical history, pretty major stuff, wasn't on my chart? Especially since I'd had the pre-op for the mastectomy at this same clinic? They know I had once been taking pre-natal vitamins, but they skip adding cancer to the list? C'mon!
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