Funk

I had my first bit of bad news yesterday since my initial diagnosis, and it totally put me in a funk for the rest of the day/this morning. It wasn't even news, it was just talking about potential outcomes after surgery.  It's likely that I'll have to take a drug for the next five years that has the potential to put me into early menopause.  If that happens, I'll have to wait five years before carrying my own children.  I think I'm having such a hard time with it because I finally got to the point where I was ready to start having children, and now that I'm ready, I'll have to wait. 

This is all hypothetical of course; we don't know what will happen after surgery so I'm trying not to dwell on the idea.  Before I start any sort of chemical treatment, I'll be meeting with a fertility doctor to talk about potentially freezing eggs for later use.  In my ideal world, if I'm not able to carry a baby for the next five years, I'd get a surrogate to do it for me.  No idea what the cost or emotional repercussions of that are, but I just don't think I (or Jason) can wait that long.  We need something good, and soon.